Have you ever experienced the in-between space? A time in your life where you aren’t where you were, but not quite where you are going, and not sure what lies ahead?

I don’t know about you, but I find these in-between times unnerving. I am someone who does well in looking at a set of circumstances and being able to assess and plan a path forward. I like to be able to be active in the change or growth process. I feel I am at my best when I can help affect positive change.

But, when I can’t do that, it is very uncomfortable. I find that I’d really like to escape from the in-betweeness. Anything but not knowing, and not knowing how to move forward. Anything but to feel the feelings that come along with this not knowing.

My old habits show up.  They taunt me with the comfort of getting under a blanket and the endless capability to click “next episode” with a tasty snack. Or I try to fix, analyze, plan my way out of this state.

The problem is that neither of these work. It can be so seductive that you don’t even realize it is happening. Such little dribbles that it is hardly noticeable. But, then comes a point where you realize it.

Numbing or fixing is not what the in-between state needs. What it needs is our presence, our ability to feel it, and stay with it. Yeah, I don’t like it either. And truth be told, I am still figuring out how one does this. But, I am getting some glimpses.

What I can see is that staying with what we are feeling allows us to first, truly feel it. This is the sucky part. I mean, who wants to stay with feeling like crap? But, if we don’t allow ourselves to experience it, to allow it to move through us, it seems to me that all we are doing is inviting it to stay longer, to manifest itself in our psyche and our body. And I definitely don’t want that.

I suppose it is kind of like having a difficult but needed conversation with someone. You dread it before it happens. It’s not always pleasant to go through. But, once you get through it, it’s a relief. And you know that it had to happen to address the issue, move past it, and not generate further issues or discord. Perhaps these in-between states are the same way. We are meant to work through them, so we can process it, before we are ready to be in the next phase.

It seems that by truly allowing ourselves to feel it, we show up and can benefit from what it has to offer. Holding space for it gives us the room to see what it has to teach us. Reminding ourselves to be present, and non-judgmental and letting ourselves know that it is ok to feel this way. That nothing is wrong, and nothing is wrong with us. It is ok to feel the way we do.

Maybe this time is not meant to be a productive time, as so many of us feel we always want to be in productive mode. Perhaps it is a time to rest, to nurture, to breathe, to step away. This isn’t a time to power through. Maybe we need to follow the pace and rhythm of this in-between time. Try to trust it.

Maybe it is like a rest stop at night – mysterious, dirty, and not knowing exactly where you are. But, you know you have to pee, and stretch your legs to get back on the road and continue your journey.

How do you navigate the in-between spaces?