We tend to spend a lot of time thinking negative thoughts about being overweight. How we think it makes us unattractive, the shame in letting ourselves get this way, and feeling failure when we have tried to lose it but didn’t.

But, perhaps we need to think about how our weight serves us. And I mean this in two ways. One is a false benefit. The other is a true benefit. The first is considering whether or not there is something provided to us, like protection, by being overweight. And the second is, does being overweight and going through the process of working on weight loss allow us to gain something we might not have otherwise?

For the first one, I don’t know if you might have seen this too, but a good while back, before Dr. Phil had his own show, he was talking to an audience member on Oprah about an issue – I believe it was her weight – and he basically said, if you aren’t changing then perhaps being overweight is serving you in some way. Even though we want it to change, there could be some benefit to not changing. I don’t think I really believed it at the time. How could my being overweight be a good thing? I thought of it more as a side effect.

And yes, my being overweight is a side effect of using food as emotional medicine. I have done a lot of work in that area to change that by becoming aware, being kind, and learning new tools. But, and this took me a while to connect all the dots here, being overweight also provided me something I subconsciously sought. It allowed me to stay hidden.

As much as a part of me wanted to be fully seen and heard, another part of me liked feeling I was behind the scenes. I am naturally an introvert, and so I am oriented in that direction. But, I think I have allowed fear to play too much of a role that has taken that introvertedness too far. Anyone that has had significant weight to lose knows that reception from others can be different. That there can be a tendency to be more invisible. For us introverts, or anyone that carries some self-doubt, there is a benefit, albeit false, to this factor. It is a cloak. I subconsciously knew that it made it easier to be safe in the shadows. But it is a false benefit, because while it did help with the invisibility factor, it only prevents me from stepping into my best, most authentic self.

That is where I work now. To remind myself that I am safe to be fully myself. That it is safe to be fully seen for who I am, and safe to release the weight that no longer serves me when I don’t feel a need to stay hidden.

The second huge, and true benefit, is all that this weight journey has given me. I can have gratitude for all that I have learned, and continue to learn. One is that being overweight has given me an understanding and true insight to those who face similar issues and allowed me to relate to people in a way that only experience provides. It also made me pay attention to learning about food sources, environment, food politics, and science, and therefore be a more informed citizen.

But, most importantly, it has been the single biggest contributor to my personal and spiritual growth because through my attempts and desire to figure out weight loss, it has required me to reflect, learn, and dig deep into my thoughts, behaviors and actions. I wouldn’t be the person I am without having gone through it, and I can’t have any regret for the person I am or the life I have lived. If this is what I am to navigate to gain a more conscious, mindful and authentic life, then I will never look at the path in a negative light, but rather have immense gratitude for all that I have gained by having traversed it.

I am so happy that I can feel I say to my overweightness, “Thank you for all you have taught me, and for trying to keep me safe when I felt I needed it. I appreciate all you have done, and now, I release you and wish you well.”

Do you see any true or false benefits of being overweight?

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